If you have problems getting an erection, you often fall into a vicious circle of performance anxiety and fear of failure. This engenders shame which makes it more difficult to seek help. Yet it is such a pity to keep suffering in silence.
Erection issues also have an impact on your partner. Often couples even avoid kissing and fondling because the fear of failure creeps in at any sign that might lead to having intercourse. Medication such as Viagra or Cialis can sometimes help you to break out of that vicious circle, but if that doesn’t work, you might start to explore the underlying reasons for having a weak or no erection. What might your member be trying to tell you?
Passion or pleasing?
Are you fully present in passion when making love, or are you mostly focused on pleasing your partner? How do you feel about the quality of your relationship, inside and outside the bedroom? How is the balance between giving and receiving? Have a look at the communication between you. What are the dynamics in taking the initiative and creating variation? What else in your life is going on that might have an impact on your sexual life?
A new love language
In a series of sexology consultations I can help you to uncover and solve underlying causes and suggest different approaches. I will encourage you to see each other as sexual beings again, independent from erection and penetration. In line with the connection that you have built over time, I can help you find a new love language. Sometimes your erection will return by itself in the process, because the pressure is gone. But what is more important is that you both really enjoy being sexually together again.